Strikeout of the Bleacher Weenies by David Lubar

Author:David Lubar
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781466854635
Publisher: Tom Doherty Associates

THE TALK

A bunch of different reactions ran through the class when the announcement was made. Behind me, I could hear Kenny Harcourt snickering. On my right, I saw Mary Beth Adderly whisper something to Kara Chen. Kara blushed. On my left, Tyler Horvath looked up at the speaker with no expression. Next to Tyler, Eddie Moldour was wearing a smug grin.

I listened as the announcement was repeated. “All sixth-grade girls please report to the auditorium,” Principal Sestwick said.

We knew what that meant. It was time for The Talk. Even though the guys were left out, it was no big secret to us what would happen. They’d get the girls together and explain stuff about puberty and growing up. It was also no big deal—for guys. We had it simple and easy.

“All sixth-grade boys please report to the gym,” Principal Sestwick added.

“Great,” I said, turning around toward Bobby Mussleman. “Maybe we’ll get to play dodgeball while they talk to the girls.”

“That sounds good,” Bobby said. “Wouldn’t be fair if they made us sit here and work.”

We got up and headed to the gym, while our teacher, Mr. Mercante, made a few halfhearted attempts to keep us from running, pushing, or talking too loudly. At the gym doors, we merged with the boys from the other three sixth-grade classes.

I expected to see our gym teacher waiting for us. Instead, Principal Sestwick came in and went over to a microphone that had been set up at one end of the gym.

“Sit down, boys,” he said.

I grabbed a spot on the floor, next to Eddy. “What’s up?” I asked.

“No idea,” he said.

“In the next few years,” the principal said, “you’ll begin to notice some changes.”

Next to me, Eddy squinted at his hand, then, in a fake scream, he whispered, “I’ve got hair on my knuckles. Oh no, save me! I’m changing!”

I choked down the laugh that was threatening to explode out of my mouth. It was a good thing I wasn’t drinking milk—the spray would have shot three or four feet from my nose. “Cut it out,” I managed to say when I’d gotten back in control.

The principal was still talking, even though Eddy and I weren’t the only ones who were horsing around. “In the beginning, some of this might frighten or confuse you,” he said, “but please keep in mind that everything that happens is perfectly natural.”

He paused and looked across the crowd, then went on with The Talk. “The first signs might be very small. One day, you’ll find yourself reading the newspaper. And not just sports and comics, but also the news.”

“What’s he talking about?” I asked Eddy.

“No idea,” Eddy said.

“I read the paper,” Tyler said.

Someone behind him said, “Who cares?” and smacked him on the head.

“You’ll find yourself keeping track of your money,” Principal Sestwick said. “You might even make out a budget. Eventually, you’ll consider opening a checking account as a first step toward establishing credit.”

Principal Sestwick took a deep breath, then went on. “As these changes occur, you’ll even find yourself looking at insurance policies, as well as…”

He kept on talking.

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